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He cut his first tooth on Saturday (Kevin already had one by this point). He also threw up for the first time that night (not sure why, but it settled quickly). A recent snack of mashed banana and strawberry flavored Prevacid at least made the puke smell pleasant. :-)
After talking to my doctor and my therapist, I have decided to try increasing my Zoloft from 50 mg to 100 mg starting today. We felt that while the 50 mg had definitely helped me, I just wasn't getting enough from it. I'm still too muted. I still have a hard time dealing with Kevin and frustration and not being able to rediscover the urge to play with him. I'm still avoiding making phone calls. I'm still avoiding answering emails and taking care of details/paperwork. The other night I had to think about Kevin and his PANDAS and how we might be fighting this for the next 13 years, and it got me close to panic attack stage (but it didn't happen...which shows the Zoloft is working!). Still having problems enjoying things, though I have been having more fun in spontaneous play with Gabey. I have a hard time making decisions and still feel anxiety about them. Part of me does feel guilty about taking more meds, like I should just be able to use the lower dose and do the rest of the work myself.
It will be interesting to see if this increases any side effects or brings in new ones. I had some head aches, a tight stomach, and dry mouth at the beginning with the 50mg dose. I don't know if the exhaustion is the Zoloft or waking up 3 times a night to feed the baby.
Comments
(((hugs))) is all I've got, so baby, they're yours!
I'm glad you are willing to try upping the Zoloft, and I sure hope that the side effects are minimal while the benefits are huge. Sending you love and understanding, even though our challenges are different I know we've both been having a hard go of it recently. Much love to you, Pete, Kevin, Gabey. You are a wonderful mama and you have a wonderful family.
Did you ever read Women's Moods? I can't remember the authors right now. Anyhow, they are two doctors who have a women's health facility outside of Boston, MA called "The Hestia Institute" and they have a wonderful phrase about meds like Zoloft. They call it "getting the Biology out of the way". They say that until you're working with properly regulated brain chemistry you can't do the emotional and psychological work you need to feel better. Long story short, takeing meds isn't a cop out and you're not going to somehow NOT do the work you know you need to do because of them. They will help actually.
And now I'm going to take my pot calling kettle black self and got to bed. I'm glad to hear that you and Gabe are doing better though.
Good luck with the zoloft dosage.